Over the last 4 months, I have sent out over 225 resumes. These resumes have covered 4 continents and 37 different states. The 225 resumes have been a combination of ministry and secular positions. I have had approximately 20 interviews and with those, I have had face to face interviews in 7 different states.
During that time, I have worked one part time job constantly (32-40 hours a week) and one temp part job for 3 months, the hours there were 15-25 hours a week. So, at times, I have been working 50-60 hours a week while searching and I am spent.
Last month though as I entered into month 4, my energy plummeted because of numerous reasons:
- only working one part-time night job (32 hours a week)
- getting the wonderful: you were second --- five times
- not being able to find a part time morning/afternoon job
- running out of churches who have given positives
- being turned down on some business opportunities
- no's coming from a few places which could have kept us here in Fishers (kids sake)
- summer is here and want to spend time with the kids
The major frustration is that money is running low and with just the one job, it is rough and I would love to work a 2nd job and push it to 60-70 hours a week until I land a full-time position. But, I cannot land it. It is frustrating and sad to be turned down by grocery stores, department stores, restaurants and more.
So, I am done. Stick a Fork in Me. I am going to the couch and watch tv. Please do not bother me.
Now, everything is true with the exception of the last line. I am not done and I am not going to stop and I keep dreaming. There are shimmers of light. one of those come from Minnesota. I have a third interview in two weeks.
However, as I was stocking shelves at 3:30 am and was thinking about life and praying. I came to the image of stick that fork in me. I am no where close and do not believe that I would ever be at a place where I would quit --- not me. BUT, I can see where people would come to that point.
Searching for a job is hard.
Having no extra money to do things is rough.
So, where does this lead me .....
It leads me to think of those who are down and out and who have given up. I understand (in a sense) how you chose to give up. My heart goes out to those who have nothing to look forward to. My heart breaks for individuals who are in jobs that they really do not want to be doing.
It also has once again awaken me to the importance of you finding your passion, your love and serving/working out of. But, then, realizing, how hard it is if you are not doing what your heart desires.
Hopefully, you read through this and did not think that I am giving up. No way. It has been a long journey and I hope that it is coming to a close. If not, I will keep my head up and keep plugging along and keep praying the prayer: "God rain down the no's till the yes comes where we will be met with your will"
Of course, I joked yesterday that I may shift my prayer to God, just give me a yes. Also besides the prayer, I might be dreaming of a way to support those going on a same journey of not working where their passion lies.